How am I?!?

I was rather embarrassed recently when a friend of mine asked if I planned to keep up with my blog since I'm back in the states. I told her that yes, I was planning on keeping it up but somehow I just hadn't found the "ganas" to write yet. For those of you who do not have the fortune of knowing Spanish, "ganas" is a fantastic word that has no good translation to English. As close as I can get, would be, "desire" or "oomph!" 

The thing is, how can you tell people how you're doing, give an update, when you yourself don't know quite how you're doing?

You know how shock works. People can cut their finger off and sit there and look at it, maybe even snap a picture of it and upload it to Facebook before the pain ever hits. (Can't actually say this from personal experience, but I've been told . . . ) That's more or less how I'm feeling. 

Numb. 

Like I didn't throw myself on my bed and cry myself to sleep over all my kids that I wouldn't see for a very long time. But neither did I feel excited and overjoyed to be with my friends and family that I hadn't seen for a very long time. 

Emotionally dead is not a fun way to be feeling. 

But as with any major injury, eventual feeling starts to return. The throbbing of the injury and confirmation that it is not your whole body that was maimed. The pain over what was lost and the comfort of knowing that not all is lost. 

It comes slowly. The feeling of being alive. 

The rush of cold wind bringing tears to my eyes, tearing up the road in the four-wheeler.

The music of a John Deere tractor in my ears, watching the rich brown earth rolling under the disk. 

The smell of damp earth and smoke from the wood fire, tickling my nose in the silence of the deer blind.

The awe felt while watching a full moon glide up over the horizon, and then watching it set in the cold haze of an autumn dawn. 

Catching up for nine months of missed playtime with the niece and nephews

The feeling of pride, watching my (little) brother walk down the aisle-seeing the man he has become. (No, he wasn't walking down the aisle with this one, but these two just looked too cute to not snap the pic) 

Of course, when the heart is opened to the good feelings the hard feelings also come in. The ache in my stomach for some good tortillas with fresh cheese and guacamole! The boringness of doing dishes alone, no splashing by Miguel and no towel wars with Elmer. The almost unquenchable itch to sign the praise songs we sing in church. (I may just one of these days, people wouldn't look at me funny or anything right?!)  The bone-deep desire to give a great big hug to my kids and ask them how their lives have been. 

And the questions, asking God-Where do I go from here? What's the plan? Is there a plan? I don't think this is gonna work. 

So . . . How am I doing? I'm doing good! It's great to be home again!

Photos and such

Does anybody have a cure for when you're laying in bed and even though you're dead tired you can't sleep? Because your to-do list is getting organized and analyzed in your head and you're trying to figure out a time-table for the next day so that everything fits in somehow. 

I thought maybe getting one thing checked off that to-do list would help. Therefore please excuse any random ramblingness & grammar mistakes. 

The thing is, I've been taking more pics the last few days, weeks as I feel my time slipping away and I want so badly to preserve it. But they're not really about one specific thing,must a lot of fun everydayness. So we'll try to avoid grammar mistakes and stick to a few pictures that I've been wanting to share with y'all. 

Lovely break from an afternoon of sewing (me n Teresa were sewing anyway, not sure what's boys were up too) with "minutas" a snow cone type of deal, sold by a guy on a lovely bike get-up. 

 Alverda Weaver and her brother were here to visit Samuel for a few weeks. Alverda brought jazz along to make home-made Chapstick. So we hauled the microwave out to my classroom and made Chapstick!

Throwback Thursday! Actually, can't remember what day of the week this was, but I wanted to do a photo re-create with Silvia from back in the day when she did her hair like this. Surprisingly, she was all for it! And then she wanted to keep it like that! If she wants to have a fur scarf on her neck all day in 90* weather who am I to tell her no! 

Elmer decided to stop by for sewing classes. Let's just say I'll stick to working with Teresa! 

Who, by the way, has been doing amazing! This week she helped with her first order of purses and really blew me away! We are now finished with all the purse orders that We needed to finish up before the end of the year! A GREAT feeling, to say the least, even tough Teresa was less than thrilled for the pic. 

Miguel also stops by occasionally. His favorite is ripping stuff out with a seam ripper. I have been amazed at how patient he is with it, although I still don't quite trust him with anything too valuable! An added bonus is that this particular piece kept him occupied for almost half an hour. 

After which he got distracted by some visitors who had brought a rip stick. He was determined to learn but even with a lot of help and encouragement he only got about as far as I have ever got. 

Studying outside for something different. Words are definitely easier to learn outside with all the distractions around! 

A new toy has been found in an old wagon that recently got new tires as a gift from Samuel's dad. Amazing how many can fit on it! 

And then someone had the idea to hook it up to the lawn mower!

None of my girls have birthdays in the school year so I decided to have one big birthday party for them all together. I had it planned about 4 days too late to include Silvia, which was really hard on me. I decided to invite Teresa as well since she is the only other girl in school. 

Of course a party means . . . selfies! 

Teresa educating Eduardo with a fabulous book called "The Paper Bag Princess." If you should be so lucky as to see me sometime in the near future, the video of the story is quite fabulous! 

As for this week, the kids are super excited about having Friday off. Well, the teachers might also be just a little bit happy about that! We are planning our annual staff weekend/outing for this weekend. So we will be leaving Friday morning and coming back sometime Saturday evening. We are heading to a town a few kilometers from El Pital, which is the highest mountain in El Salvador, and straddles the border between El Salvador & Honduras. Something in me really wants to climb that mountain before I head back to the states. We'll have to see what I can do about that. 

Well, this post was a little bit successful. My eyes are now quite a bit more grainy and I feel quite a bit more droopy. So until later, good-night. 

Letting go??

I don't feel like I'm ready to talk about what happened this week. But to be fair to those of you who have been following Silvia's journey, praying with me, it's only fair that you be updated. 

Silvia was sent home permanently Tuesday morning. 

It probably sounds very sudden and all, but the truth of the matter is, she was riding the fence for the last week or two. Talking didn't do a whole lot of good. She knew who she was "listening" to, but couldn't seem to break the bonds that had formed from 14 years of letting her human nature control her. I do still believe her conversion was real, she just hadn't quite gotten the "daily renewing" part yet.  

But the fact that she has walked out of my life, without a good-bye, is still just a little bit too much for me. I have trouble believing that she will be able to continue to listen to the still small voice of God in the tornado that is her life. That becoming a Christian, for her, was something that happened at CICS and would therefore stay at CICS. And I wanted to talk to her one last time and let her know that was not the case and that just because she was not a part of my daily life anymore didn't mean I was going to forget about her and stop praying for her. But I didn't get that chance. And that hurts. But I trust God has a bigger plan for Silvia in this and I will keep clinging to that. He is not limited to our ideas of what will or will not work. (Pat answers that sound good but are REALLY hard to believe right now) 

Please keep praying for Silvia and her mom. She has a hard time finding work to support the two of them if she has to try to corral Silvia and work at the same time. She seemed quite discouraged the last time I talked to her. And pray for me too, that I can put Silvia in His hands and leave her there. 

The last month . . . .

" . . . to bring my heart to every day, and run the risk of fearlessly loving without running away."

This is a line from a song that grabbed me by the throat this week. (Jason Gray, Without Running Away, for those of you that were wondering.) the challenge to actually bring my heart to every day, rather than just wake up and go through the motions is a constant struggle for me. Especially when we get to this part of the year where one is tempted to just throw up the hands and say, "forget it!" It doesn't matter anyway, there's only one month of school left." When the deadlines are looming and it feels like it will be impossible to finish every thing up. 

Yes, somehow, unbelievably we have landed at this place. Technically it's less than a month. 29 days to be exact, until I will be heading to the Monseñor Romero Airport, and saying good-bye to El Salvador for a good little while. I won't say "for forever" because I will definitely be visiting again. But leaving this time will be a little bit different, ok, a lot different, because I don't have a return ticket. I won't focus on it any more than that for now because it practically gives me the heebie-jeebies to think about it. I would rather focus on squeezing the pleasure out of each moment that I have left. Even the moments that I feel like whopping my kids over the head. 

It seems they have caught the "end-of-year-it-don't-matter" bug. Eduardo has become a pro at shrugging his shoulders and saying, "I don't know." So we will continue to try to interest him. The other day, he got quite animated over which soccer team I like, Real Madrid or Barcelona, super big deal! So I do know there are things that interest him. Just how to help him see that the things that don't interest him as much as football (soccer, whatever) or practicing his trick riding skills are still important? Silvia continues to ride the line, seeing how far she can go before she gets in serious trouble. Not a fun situation to be in! And to know how to counsel her when she deliberately chooses to do wrong, knowing that she is choosing to obey Satan and it doesn't seem to matter to her. Paola, continues to work along steadily, math and learning words don't seem to be too overwhelming for her, until she gets caught in a giggle fit, which I still have to figure out how it is triggered although sometimes I'm not sure I want to know how her brain works! Beatriz also continues to plug along withou too many problems, she's been asking some hard questions lately. Like, "How long do your sleeves have to be to be a Chrisitan . . . Etc" Whoah! What!?!  I told her I would take one Wednesday morning girls devotion to explain what is required of Christians and what the Bible says about how we should dress. A little bit intimidating since what they have always been told is that cape dresses and veils are Christian. But I do not believe that is the case, but neither did I want to teach them that they can do whatever they want, "as long as their heart is right." I pray God can use whatever I said whether I went about it all wrong and use it to further strengthen their relationship with Him. 

Their questions and the conversations we can get caught up in, never cease to amaze me! How we got from discussing the differences between plants and animals to whether or not vampires are real is still a mystery to me, but what is school for if not to get answers to your questions? So to me it didn't really matter whether or not we finished the science lesson for the day, since they were asking questions about things that truly perplexed them. The other question that blew me for a loop was when Elmer told/asked me whether or not it was actually the little horses that made rainbows appear in the sky. Somehow, they seem to have a hard time dividing the real from the imaginary, especially when they've seen it on TV. 

Along with the busyness that come with wrapping up school and trying to pack up the last three years of your life, well, I haven't actually started that, but the thought is enough to make me want to run far away, we are starting to practice for our year-end drama. (Naaman, the leper) I also am still having sewing classes with Teresa two afternoons a week so that kinda takes up a good chunk of my time. She has finished two dresses, so this next week I'm hoping she will be able to get started helping me on an order of purses that I have to finish before the end of the year. 

Sometimes I have to wander about the ideas I get, and why I think they have to be done. But I think I'll be glad that I stuck through with this last-minute project that I started. It hit me the other day that is is the tenth anniversary of the school being started. And nothing was really being done about it. I have always loved the idea of re-creating photos from long ago, but my brothers always refuse to cooperate for me, so I thought maybe the kids would be a little bit more accomodating. So I rustled up some old pictures, some real beauties from back even in 2005, the first year we had school here. Let's just say, things have definitely changed. Not the least being the kids themselves. 

Here are a few samples of what I've done so far. Hopefully more to come soon!

Mauricio & Clifton-present and 2011. Even 4 years can make quite the difference. 

Carlos & José, present and 2010, where will they be in 5 more years? We can only pray!!

one of the biggest "differences" I've done so far. 2007-2015  Elmer, Louis, Elmer Santos, Alfredo and Mauricio with some friends from Belize.  I didn't quite see it as necessary to try to bring the friends fro Belize just for a photo shoot! I've got so many more fun photos I want to do, we'll have to see how time holds out. 

In the last week we also took class pics and celebrated Children's Day. But those pics might have to wait for another post. Until then, remember to live life with your whole heart even if it feels like it will kill you. 

A new angel . . .

So this post is over-due by a few days . . . Why? You might ask. Well, it was kinda a thing that I didn't want to over-react. Which is really dumb, looking back. You can't over-react about a new Christian! And then I said, "Well, we want to be sure this is for real. I'd hate to make a big deal about it and then end up having her get sent home next week. That would look real authentic."

See, Silvia gave her heart to Jesus last week. And just like every other situation that I have gone through with this girl, I ended up learning more about myself and where I need help. 

Let me start at the beginning.

Last Monday night Silvia had a little blow-up. (I believe it was refusing to shower, seriously, who doesn't want to shower after sweating all day?! but anyhow, that was the fight she chose that night) Becky basically told her that she's not even gonna try and fight her, if Silvia wants to make the decision to leave CICS, then it is in her hands. Basically, "you are on your last thread here and if you make the decision to continue acting up, the doors to CICS will be closed to you." Obviously that got Silvia thinking and the next morning Silvia came and of her own volition asked forgiveness from both Paty and me for things she had done the day before. I took the opportunity to talk to her a bit to make sure she knew where we stood. I told her that I could see that Silvia had not been happy the last few days, and I could see that God was touching her heart, that He wanted to come in, but it would have to be Silvia's choice. We talked for quite a while, and Silvia told me, with tears in her eyes that, "Yes, she was ready to stop fighting against God, and let Him into her heart." I very nearly broke down right there. I wrapped her up in a hug and I got one of the most amazing hugs from Silvia in response. No extra squeezing, no chin digging into my shoulder, no rubbing my back . . . All the things she normally does to try to distance herself while giving a hug. This time, she just layed her head on my shoulder and let me hold her. Three years of chin-digging hugs were totally worth for that one! 

However, I told her that I was not the only one who had been praying for her and that I wanted Verónica and Becky to be with us when she prayed. As luck would have it, Becky had left for the day and didn't get back till about 6:30 that evening. I got her up to speed on what had happened, but by that time Silvia wa in bed and we decided it would be better to wait until we had plenty of time to talk with her and make sure she understood what she was doing. 

So Wednesday evening after church Silvia, Becky, Verónica and I headed out to my classroom. Becky explained very clearly to Silvia, using the whiteboard, the two forces that were fighting for control of her heart. Silvia was able to very clearly explain what she was feeling in her heart and which side she wanted to choose. I don't think there was a dry eye among us as Silvia prayed and asked forgiveness for the lies and rebellion that she had had and invited Jesus into her heart. I still get shivers thinking about it. And my one prayer leading up to this was that God would let me feel if it was real. And He definitely showed me, through numerous small things, that yes, this was real. 

So now I have a little angel in my classroom! Or Not! This is the part where my lesson comes in. God has had to remind me countless times over the last few days of the bajillion times I have failed Him and continue to mess up and the innumerable times I have had to learn the same lesson. And I expect Silvia to get rid of 14 years of anger and rebellion taken care of in a few days!?! Seriously, Mel!

I think my biggest fight in this is how Satan tempts me to think that it was not real. That Silvia only did it because she knew that's what we wanted, because she thought it would give her a free ride to an easy life. And to that I can only cry with the father of the demonic boy in Mark 9:24, "Lord, I believe, help thou mine unbelief!"

Please continue to pray for Silvia, that looking to Jesus instead of obeying her flesh would become easier every day. Pray for the intervention of the Holy Spirit when the language barrier seems to big to describe things like sanctification and being born again and putting to death the old man. 

Visitors!!

So, in my last post-whenever that was ={ I mentioned that I had visitors coming! Yes, I finally got my visitors in the last quarter of the year! Actually, it was good timing, just when I was starting to feel that the year was getting longish, I had fun visitors to look forward to. 

But before I get into that, there is other good news. Silvia is back!

I think she was trying to show off her colored tongue from her sucker!

I was happy to hear the news that Silvia would be allowed to come back to finish the year. But as I mentioned earlier it was with some trepidation. It has been obvious since she is back that while she is not a completely changed little girl she was happy to have a second chance. And I have been thankful for the love that God has given me for her, because I know on my own I would never be able to love her at all. I still feel like I fail so often in how I relate to her, reacting in frustration when patience and understanding is what she needs. I keep praying that I could learn what God wants me to learn from her, and maybe in the meantime she will be able to see a shadow of the love that God has for her. 

And yes, my visitors! 

My aunt and uncle and their two youngest children, Dan, Naomi & Javen and Janae. Although since they have lived only three miles down the road from our family for the last 13ish years they feel more like my younger siblings. Javen and Janae at least, Dan and Naomi are a bit over the age limit to be considered younger siblings! I felt super special that they took time out of their busy schedules to come see my life. 

Just so you can get a look at their pretty faces too! ;)

We had a great time simply hanging out at CICS, watching the Thursday afternoon soccer game, hanging out with the kids, & learning bits of sign language from Elmer's stories! In the afternoons we did a few afternoon trips to Aguilares buying fabric, vanilla, licuados, and some candy that I managed to get them addicted to in the time they were here. They also helped out with some random projects that needed attention. Our eternally dripping kitchen faucet soon caught Dan's plumber-trained eye and for the first time in three years we have a kitchen faucet that can be turned completely off without trying to find that perfect sweet spot where it dripped the least. Lydia was thrilled to say the least! Dan & Javen also found out how we empty the sewer tank here in ES. By hand of course! Thankfully, it was just a gray water disposal tank so nothing to gag worthy. Naomi and Janae pitched in and helped me work on purses, needless to say, three people can get a lot more done in one afternoon than one person alone. 

On the weekend we took the opportunity to explore a nearby tourist town, Suchitoto. We had a beautiful hotel with an amazing view of Lake Suchitlan. Interesting note, Luis, the owner of said hotel, is a brother to one of the "orphans" that was taken care of at the orphanage that used to be where the deaf school is now. Their story is quite amazing and a clear testament to the power of God directing people's lives. 

Like I said, amazing view! 

We enjoyed a small zip line ride, 

boat rides on the lake, exploring a hermit's cave on a nearby island, along with a wrecked plane. 

Of course we also had to do some souvenir shopping and food sampling. French fries from a corner vendor, pupusas with coke from glass bottles and of course ice cream, just to make sure it's the same as in the states! 

The hotel also had a gorgeous pool so we had plenty of things to keep us busy. 

Sunday evening we took off, up the mountain to see how the view compared with our West Virginia hills. I must say, I'm still a very loyal Mountaineer, but there is something about the view from Boqueron. 

Not like you can see that much of the amazing view from this pic! 

Approximately a week and a half after I said good-bye to them at the airport, I once again made the trip to the airport, this time to pick up my mom. 

Yes, I know, we need to practice our "selfie faces!"

She had some dental work that needed to be done and decided to get two birds with one stone. Cheaper dental work and visiting me, win-win situation, especially when there are air miles available! 

Thankfully we were able to get the dental work taken care of first thing and so we were able to take the weekend off. I had direct orders from home, names withheld for security reasons, to make sure Mom got some relaxing done. So once again we headed to Suchitoto. Although Mom got the extra cultural experience of bussing there as well. We took it very easy, and it was a blast! But Monday was back to school and finishing up dental work in the afternoon. The week flew by with school in the mornings and shopping and sewing in the afternoons. Mom also worked on some purses in the morning while I as in school. Needless to say I was thrilled with the end result of the week. Orders finished that had been shelved for WAY to long, made for a very happy me. But the best of all was simply having Mom around to talk to, catch up on news from home and "counsel" me! Phone calls are amazing but sometimes they just don't cut it. 

And last but not least, Andrea came to visit one last time this year. Of course she came primarily to visit Matthias but we managed to do a lot of catching in between. It was great to be able to sit up all night and catch up on each other's lives again. Amazing how many changes can happen in a 10 month period! 

We spent Saturday evening and today (Sunday) in San Salvador at the guest house. We did a little bit of shopping. It was great to shop with a fellow "speed shopper." The ladies in our favorite fabric store recognized us and told us they had some new fabric for purses! It's kinda fun to be known and recognized. Three years ago I would have never thought I would get to that point! 

The end of this past week was a little upside down, as Paty left Thursday morning to attend a funeral of a cousin. Then Thursday afternoon both Samuel and Lidia came down with some kind of fever, upset stomach, headache kind of flu. So Friday school consisted of Elmer teaching Samuel's class, Paty's class being canceled, and Tiffany teaching my class, since I had to go with Nata to drop mom off at the airport. So Matthias was the only regular teacher, but we all survived. And Silvia even managed to not start a fight while I was gone. I was so proud of her! I had told her that she would need to head to the house and help Becky if she started being disrespectful to Tiffany. So I was super happy to see Silvia still at school when I came back. She gave me a big grin and I gave her a big hug, letting her know I was super proud of her. 

Random events of the week, 

The little boys decided recess was tree climbing time. 

Joel was practicing his eye-crossing skills

The three little pigs have recently become fascinated with fixing cars, so here they were fixing "my car" so Dwight and I could make a Pizza Hut run. The imaginations of these kids!

We've finally been having more rain the last while. I was amazed by this stunning clear rainbow only to see the double one after I snapped the picture! 

My latest favorite view, dusk settling over San Salvador as seen from the roof of the guest house. 

And now, we settle in for the marathon of the last two months of school. Cramming those last few words into the heads, starting drama practice, final tests and all the fun reports and grading that have to be written up! Yay! 

Keep praying for the school, especially this week as Nata flies to the states to haul some cars back, and as we round the homestretch to finishing up this year. 

Until next time . . . . 

Verdicts and second chances . . .

Well, it may be more like a third or fourth chance, maybe even fifth. But I'm not counting and I don't think anyone else is. Except maybe her mom who is worried about how many chances there will be and when we will say, "No more chances."

But thank God, that is not yet. 

Tuesday of last week there was a meeting, Nata & Becky, 3 board members and one scared little nun. I went into the meeting honestly not having the slightest clue what the verdict was going to be. We were or course, discussing the fate of Silvia. And whether she had crossed the last line or if we could give her another chance. 

Two hours later, after much discussion and many options and many lessons learned by the nun in how to make meetings last longer than necessary, the verdict was agreed upon by all. 

To say the truth, I was scared of either verdict. I was scared we would say, "no more chances." And I would feel, very muchly, that I had failed in one of the things that is closest to Jesus' heart, the precious souls of His children. But I was also scared that we would say, "sure come on back to school." Because me being the selfish nun that I am, really liked the easy class I had when we were minus Silvia. But suddenly in the meeting when it seemed to me that things were starting to lean precariously close to the side of expelling Silvia for good, I knew what I really wanted the verdict to be. Maybe because I don't want it to be said, that I (we) gave up. Or maybe because my pride couldn't handle the thought that there was a student that had gotten the best of me. I just knew that saying there was no more hope for Silvia and that she didn't deserve another chance, felt so totally wrong. Exactly the opposite of what Jesus was wanting us to do. But thankfully (during the 2hrs) the tide shifted and it was clear that giving Silvia another chance was what we all wanted to do. The decision was unanimous. Silvia will be coming back to finish out the last two months of school. 

I was relieved.

And I was scared.

And to be honest, still am a little bit. 

The optimistic side of me says, "Surely two months of being expelled should now mean she can have at least two good months at school."

But the realistic side of me laughs and says, "Honey, this is Silvia we're talking about here."

The thing with Silvia is, you never know. She is a loving child, at least I like to think that is her true nature, but one can never tell what it is that will set her off. Or what will make her raise her defenses and shut off her brain. What triggers are causing her drastic reactions? I would give a lot to break through all language barriers and just see inside her brain, unhindered, for a few minutes. 

But I haven't been given that gift. So I will work with what I have. Which I happen to know includes a lot of prayer support. 

I have no clue how Silvia will show up tomorrow morning. Relieved to be back at school and with her friends, willing to be a cooperative part of the team here. Or stressed from the changes in schedule that resulted from her expulsion and looking for a safe place to vent her frustration, which is usually in my classroom or maybe the playground or maybe the kitchen or the laundry room while doing her afternoon chores. Like I said, one can never tell! 

So I am pleading with you not to forget Silvia in your prayers. Pray that her time being expelled caused her to stop and think. Pray for a change of heart. She knows that she is not right with God and that she is the only one who can change that. And that she has to WANT to change, we can't do it for her. She just doesn't want to give up yet. 

And pray for me too. Wisdom, patience, true love, strength . . . The list could go on for awhile. 

And if I survive I will keep you updated, and maybe I will even be able to tell about my first visitors of the year. The first that were EXCLUSIVELY mine. And about the visitor I'm expecting and other cool stuff happening but as of right now, bed feels a little bit more important. 

Comin' off vacation . . .

So today was Monday and it was a really awesome Monday! 

After a week of lots of relaxing and catching up on a lot of those little projects that had been staring me in the face for way too long, I felt rejuvenated and ready to see the kids again. The morning hugs were executed with some extra "umph!"

I was kinda a bad teacher today. We really didn't do much work at all. We sat around and talked about what we did on vacation. And ate chocolate and laughed at the Dove sayings. How do you translate the idea of, "Pack your rose colored glasses." I just translated it literally and then we teased Beatriz about her pink sunglasses all day. 

We also mourned the loss of our dear class pet. Diego seems to have escaped/been kidnapped during vacation. The girls were quite traumatized while Eduardo openly rejoiced and asked if someone had stabbed him dead. (He never had a great love for the bird!)

RIP Diego, wherever you might be. Thank you for never pooping on me. 

It was great to sit around and catch up on their lives. And I nearly cried when it came Beatriz' turn to tell us about her vacation. (If that confuses you, check out my last post, "Once again a student) she was all smiles! And she said she had a great vacation! Her mom was rather upset when she arrived Friday afternoon, but ended up apologizing a day or so later was her normal self for the rest of the week. And her dad wasn't mad at all, although he did drink and got into a rather major fight. He didn't mistreat her.  How wrong is that? To have only one major fight be an "improvement" and something to be thankful for. But it really is, for her. And Sunday her dad even took her to the Mennonite church that is close to her house. (Close as in E.S. close, not Lancaster County close!) he was chopping some grass for the cows close by so when she asked to go along he didn't have any problem with it and took her on his bike. I sat on my desk as she recalled all this to our class! And I just wanted to do a happy dance! We settled for thanking God for so many answered prayers on behalf of this girl that He cares about more than I can ever imagine. 

And specifics about my vacation . . . 

It was honestly just a lot of relaxing! :) Blissful to say the least! I spent a few days at the guesthouse in San Salvador and caught up on some shopping at the mall there. I managed to fit in a massage and also found some cool new smoothie shops and also discovered that the roof of the guesthouse is a great viewing platform to see the firework displays the city likes to put on to celebrate August vacation. I was also blessed to be able to catch lunch with a very wise woman and dear friend, who very patiently let me unload to her! Wednesday afternoon I bussed home from the city, and Lidia informed me that they were planning to go to a Water park the next day and I was invited to tag along. ("They," being her two sisters that are here visiting.) that seemed a little more appealing than the cleaning that I had on my schedule and so we set off. I was expecting a few slides and some dirtyish pools. Since that's kinda been my "water park" experience here. I was quite surprised! A very upscale park with thermal pools, ginormous kids section, and a nice assortment of slides, and pools of different depths, even a zip line cable stretching over the pools. Sadly, jumping off the zip line into the pool was not allowed. But the ginormous yellow slide provided quite enough thrill for me. 

Not sure exactly how tall it was, but very much straight down! Good belly-flopping/heart-in-throat experience right there! 

Finishing off with some good ole cones! 

And the rest of the week was sewing and reading and sleeping in and some long over-due cleaning. 

Today while working at school it hit me for real that we are past the three month mark. 

And if these last three months go anywhere near as fast as the last 6 I'll be back in the states before I even know what happened. 

This week we're looking forward to Nata & Becky coming back from Mexico. Life just isn't quite normal when they aren't here. However we had an amazing time with Enrique & Laura here and Lidia & Patu will definitely miss their family, especially their nephew who has stolen all our hearts. I'm also looking forward to my first visitors of the year! Wow! I waited till August! My uncle & aunt, Dan & Naomi, who live about three miles from my house in WV, are coming on Thursday with their two youngest, the only ones who haven't made it down here to visit me yet. Makes me feel quite special and I look forward to showing them around. 

Till next time . . . 

Once again a student . . .

Have you ever been explaining something to someone, trying to teach them how to do something when suddenly they catch on and say, "Oh, you mean like this!" And turns out they knew how to do it all along, and they're actually better at it than you are. And all you can do is stand there and feel about two inches tall. 

That happened to me this week. (Or, I guess it's last week by now.) 

Beatriz' grandpa's funeral was on Thursday. Thankfully it was in the afternoon so we were able to attend. So the majority of us staff and a few of the students piled into the van and headed out to Tacachico. We didn't attend the Catholic Mass, although I would have been very interested in seeing the ceremonies. I was told the length of the service, in which the soul is supposedly blessed and ushered into heaven, depends on how much the family can afford to pay the priest. Can you imagine feeling as if your father/grandfather may not end up in heaven simply because you couldn't afford to pay the priest for a sufficient prayer! Although, I think the Cruz family should have nothing to worry about, based on that. We waited for a small eternity in the parking lot, or so it seemed. But I'm getting sidetracked. 

We met up with another couple, Abel & Myrna, who live close to Beatriz and were also attending the funeral. As we were waiting in a small parking lot close to the church, Myrna came over and with tears in her eyes began to tell us what had happened the night before, at the "vela." (An all-night vigil, something like a viewing) Beatriz had come to her asking if she could talk to her mom, because her parents were refusing to let her wear her veil & dress. Myrna was, of course, ready to defend and went to talk to her mom. However, her mom refused to be persuaded. There was family from the states and they would not have their daughter shaming them by dressing like a "grandma." This was not just said to Myrna. Beatriz was heartbroken, and when we joined the funeral procession to the gravesite, she began to cry in earnest, ashamed that we had to see her in a skirt and blouse. Mary was quick to take her aside and reassure her that God saw her heart and that He knew that she wanted to do what was right and that she hadn't lost her Chrisitanity just because she didn't have her head covered. And then Beatriz explained the things that even Myrna hadn't known. That her father had literally ripped her veil off her head, and pulled her by the hair, telling her to change, and when she said that she was not ashamed, he hit her with his belt. And then took her dress and threw it in the trash. And I wanted to close my eyes and not see what she was saying and at the same time wanted to take her and run far far away. Because that was her father sober. 

And we were able to, for a little bit. We talked with her mom, asking permission for Beatriz to come back with us, seeing as how Friday was the spelling competition that she had studied three months for.  Her mother, rather reluctantly, gave permission. And so Beatriz wanted to say good-bye to some of her aunts and uncles who would be leaving for the states the next day. I walked with her, waiting while saw said her good-byes. And then I saw her father, viciously gesturing to her, and I knew it was not good. He walked out of the crush of people surrounding the gravesite, his ginormous hand nearly bruising Beatriz's arm in his vicious grip. It was clear he was not on board with the idea of her leaving. We were able to explain that it was because of the competition that she had worked hard for and that she would be home the next afternoon, just like every Friday. And he let go of Beatriz' arm and I, holding her other hand, wanted to run out of that cemetery as fast as I possibly could. 

And Beatriz sat in the back seat of the van and said, "Oh, it's good to be with the deaf again, it's much calmer." And then we had our competition the next day. And then Beatriz went home, most likely to a dad who is raging drunk. And a family who at best, tolerates her beliefs, when not mocking them. And she says, "It doesn't matter what they say, I am going to be faithful." And she comes to school every Monday morning with a ginormous smile on her face. 

And yes, now I feel about two inches tall. It's like I've been playing "Christian" my whole life. What do I know about respecting a father who beats me for wearing a modest dress? A father who pitches my Bible? What do I know about encouraging a girl who lives that life? 

Once again, I am the student and not the teacher. 

Please join me in extra prayer for Beatriz this week. A week of vacation for me means a week at home for her. With a father who is most likely trying to drink away his grief. Pray for protection and strength and a heart that continues to be soft. 

The sudden - unexpected changes . . .

Tomorrow morning I have to tell Beatriz, one of my students, that she will be going home for her grandpa's funeral. 

And I'm sitting here trying to think how I'm supposed to word it. To break it to her gently as we always say. 

And there just is no right way, no easy way. For sure no gentle way. 

And I'm also trying to think how to rearrange the week. To make sure she won't have to miss out on any of the fun stuff we had planned for this week. It's the last week before vacation. We had an ice cream party planned to celebrate reaching our goal of 300 flash cards. We have the spelling bee on Friday, that Beatriz had a very good chance of winning. 

And we want to go to the funeral, but there's the other kids to think about, there's visitors to pick up from the airport, there's appointments with the immigration office to get some very much-needed residency cards. Lots of interrupted plans. 

And it made me remember our interrupted plans for a family Christmas 6 years ago. Instead of having a cozy family get-together in our living room, we were standing under a tent in a freezing cold cemetery, burying our dad & husband. 

The truth is there is never a good time for death. That's probably why God decided not to let us plan it. It would never suit us! 

I remember what someone told me and my sister when they were passing through the receiving line at the viewing, "As you get older this just keeps happening more and more, this is just the start." 

Oh, wow! Just what we needed to hear! 

But it is rather true. Death is inevitable. There is no avoiding that sudden jarring thud you feel when you hear the news. Even if you didn't know the person. And in a way, I'm glad. I don't want to get to the place where I can hear the news that someone died and feel no sadness and no sympathy for the family. Because it also brings along with it the reminder that this is not our home. We belong in a body that can praise Jesus eternally. 

But until then we deal with these sudden, unexpected changes that remind us to live every minute as if it were our last. 

"If the last thing you did, was the last thing you do,

If the last word you said, was the last breath you drew,

Would you be ok, with the way they remember you,

If the last thing you did, was the last thing you do?" 

                      -High Valley, If The Last Thing You Did

Pray for Beatriz and her family this week. Especially pray that her father would not turn to drinking again. 

Until next time, 

Mel 

Sunday afternoon catch-up. . . .

It's a bad thing when your day of rest has a to-do list. Normally mine includes a nap, at least reading or something equally relaxing, but I was afraid a Sunday afternoon nap would only result in that nasty feeling of waking up and trying to figure out what year you're in. That always makes me grouchy, so I decided to spare everybody that I live with the drama and instead catch ya'll up on what's happening on my side of the world.

First of all, Nata, Becky, and their family took a trip to Mexico to help out with the annual Deaf camp. Last year was the first year they went and they were asked to contribute again this year. It involves about 10 days of traveling and 8 days of camp. They usually take a few days to enjoy the mini vacation with their family. They plan to return sometime in the second week of August. While they are gone they asked Enrique & Laura Vasquez from Costa Rica to come be "jefe." Enrique is a brother to Paty, who is a teacher here, and Laura is a sister to Lidia, the cook. So they are both enjoying having family around, not to mention a darling nephew, Eric, whom we have all adopted for the time that they are here. Elmer especially dotes on him, to the point that Veronica chewed him out the other day because the cows were out of water. She blamed it on the fact that Elmer was just playing with Eric instead of doing his work!

Us girls took our annual Gals Trip last weekend. We stayed a little closer to home this time. We headed to Lake Suchitlan, about 45 min. from Aguilares. It was a great time of relaxing and enjoying some sunshine & shopping & girl time & eating, of course. Our hotel had an amazing flat roof and we spent most of Friday evening enjoying the cool lake breezes and aerial view of the central park. Sadly, there was no circus going on so we couldn't have a Ferris Wheel ride!

View of the cathedral from our hotel roof

Zulma & Mary
Zulma is a deaf girl who graduated from school and lives with her grandparents. Right now her grandparents are visiting the states, since Zulma had no one to stay with she has been staying here at CICS.

Paty & Verónica
Paty is a teacher and Verónica is the dorm mom.

We find great ways to entertain ourselves!

I think my favorite thing about Suchitoto is the awesome colors on all the houses.

Getting ready to head out onto the lake. 

Me & Lidia
Lidia is the cook, and I am, well, me!

The CICS gals
(l-r)Zulma, Lidia, Mary, Verónica, me, Paty

Waiting patiently for our personal chauffeur to arrive! 

In other news, school days continue to fly by. July in our school year is about the equivalent of February in a U.S. school year. If that comparison didn't make sense to you, you're probably not a teacher. It's that time of year, when the excitement of a new school year has worn off, and new books are no longer new, and it's not just easy review stuff anymore, but actually hard math problems. But neither is it close enough to the end of the school year to start getting excited about all the end of year activities. In other words, a teacher's favorite time of year! 

Thankfully, we have a week of vacation to look forward to immediately after July, so that helps. 

My kids have really amazed me in the last weeks though. They have really seemed to dig in and put new efforts, including reaching new goals in their timed math drills, and some majorly improved scores on spelling tests. So, maybe they were bribed . . . just a little bit. Hey, it's a teacher's secret weapon, don't judge! 

But I think my favorite new event has been the questions they are starting to come up with. I love to see them using their own heads and thinking things through and not being afraid to ask about stuff that don't make sense rather than just nod and say, "I get it." 

Last Monday morning we spent the whole first period talking about different things their parents did or told them regarding Catholic traditions and worship. It totally took me by surprise, but it was a great chance to show them the errors in that way of thinking. 

A few of my other favorites have been,

 "How do whales have babies in the water?" 

"Do even whales feed their babies milk? How?"

 (We were having a science discussion about the different groups of animals)

"Do animals go to heaven?"

"But the elephant from the zoo that died went to heaven, right?"

"How does the water in all the oceans stay on the world if it's round?"

It does my heart good to actually be able to have them join in the discussion and get involved and get excited about learning. 

Here are a few pictures from the normal everday.

Miguel wins in the "Cool Sock Contest" purple with pink ribbons!

me with my gals, (before Silvia left)

Anthony concentrating on Pick-Up sticks while Jairo & Joel watch to make sure he doesn't jiggle any of the others. It's the new favorite game and they are quite sharp in catching when someone else wiggles one of the other sticks!

Eduardo, Miguel & Mauricio work on a puzzle.

This coming week, will be focused on last-minute studying for the Spelling competition on Friday. And then we will send all the kids home and enjoy a week of vacation! I for one am very much looking forward to that! 

Well, I think I achieved my purpose here. Made it through my afternoon without being tempted to sleep! And got one thing knocked off my to-do list. :)

Now to find time to update my books page . . . . 

Until next time,

Mel