Awakening from hibernation . . .

Timidly she emerges from her long silence . . .

No, I have no excuse except that I was too busy trying to figure out what God was trying to do in my life to expound on it to the world.

That is not to say that by writing now I HAVE figured it all out! More like I am so overwhelmed by all that He has given me and done for me I feel it would be a shame to not share it. Yes, my heart is full. And it sure beats sitting around pitying myself.

See, yesterday morning (a lifetime ago) I said good-bye to this amazing group of people whom God used to change my life. And I still get teary-eyed when I try to tell my family about them.

Let me back up.The story starts last summer when I made the decision not to continue teaching at CICS. As I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life I remembered that SMBI had long been on my to-do-sometime list. It seemed like a good time to do it. A time of rejuvenation and re-focusing. Besides, may as well take advantage of my "missionary" discount while it's still valid, right? So I signed up for 4th term & tour. Only to get an e-mail a couple weeks later saying I was in for 2nd term. Due to a previous registration I had been entered for 2nd term instead of 4th, which meant that I was on the bottom of the stack for 4th term. No. 20 something on the waiting list if I remember right. I struggled. Was it not a good thing? I prayed. "God, I NEED this time." Then eventually I gave it up. I decided if God really wants me to go He will move the mountains, or stacks of paperwork in this case.

Christmas time came and went and no word from SMBI. Then January happened and in the midst of my waiting, someone else decided they were done waiting and I was asked the question that all girls hope to hear. Well, most normal girls anyhow. I had pretty much written a relationship off for the time being. It just wasn't something I wanted to focus on. (In fact I told my aunt at Christmas time that if any guy asks me out in the next six months I would probably slap him up 'long side the head.) But I guess God was getting a real chuckle out of my rash words and decided now would be a good time to teach me a lesson about watching what I say. Keith is a great guy from my home youth group. And in the midst of seeking God's will in the situation God answered my other request. I must confess I cried when I read the e-mail saying I was accepted for 4th term at SMBI. It was like God was saying, "Mel, Of course I want you to go. I care about what you want too." So I started preparing for term. And freaking out! What was I doing? I didn't want to go hang out with that many weirdos!! I didn't have anything to give relationshipwise at the time being. I just wanted to go and be a hermit amidst the mass and focus on what God was trying to teach me for my life. And that's the attitude I went to term with. (And btw, I did say 'yes,' to Keith, since he was OK with me being gone for 9 weeks)

So I showed up at term, luggage in tow, heart firmly padlocked.

But not firmly enough. God had some pretty persuasive people there. Two out-of-this-world dean of women, outstanding teachers, and an amazing choir director, and they all kept harping about relationships! I think it was about the second week of term I decided to give up. And I said, "Ok, God, what do you have me here to learn?" And He, faithful as always, showed me. Whether it was through late-night conversations in girls dorm, supper table discussions, one-on-one walks, Christ in the Old Testament "discussions" (I could write a whole post about that class but you had to be there to experience it so I won't waste my breath) campfire times or simply solo time in a field under the stars, He taught me. A lot.

And the six weeks flew by altogether too fast. And before you could say, "epic!" I was on a plane headed to LA, California with about 50 other eager students, ready to sing our voices out and bless people or else die trying. But if I thought term taught me a lot about relationships then tour was the bootcamp. 50+ people in a bus, logging over 130 hours in said bus, while on minimal sleep. Good times are bound to happen!! And happen they did.

Someone asked me, after returning to SMBI what my favorite part of tour was. I looked at her rather blankly (which may have had something to do with running low on sleep) and was like, I have to pick a favorite part?!?

Well, if I did have to pick a favorite part it would be the people. The broken vessels who shared that bus, the diamonds that were being ground alongside me, (and probably the diamonds that I was grinding as well!)  I have never been with a group of people of that size who were so OK with not being OK.  We hurt together, we shared together, we cried together . . .and we got upset at each other . . . and annoyed . . .yeah, just plain sick of each other every now and then.  But we also laughed together. A lot! And we played together . . . Rook (a lot!) . . . Spot-it . . .Occupation . . . Fishbowl . . Hearts . . . Dice . . . And of course we sang. A lot! Somebody was asked by their host, "So, after y'all sing so much I bet you're just tired of using your voices and the bus it just really quiet." We all had a good laugh when we heard that. Not so!

I could go on for hours with memories and lessons learned. But I'll spare you, if you made it this far anyway.  It's like I told someone during those horrible good-byes Saturday morning. I feel as if God has given me this time, this tour, these people as a gift. And as much as I don't want to leave it and go back to the real world it would be like throwing that gift back in God's face. It would be a sin not to take what I learned and live it out in real time. Much as I don't want to . . . as much as I'm tempted to crawl back into myself and focus only on my life. I can't. Because of His Gift, His Amazing Love, I now need to give Him my life, my relationships, my all. And be intentional.

And to any of you 4th termers reading this . . . when I think about all of us scattered all over the continent, world actually. I just get so excited! I see all these little "hot spots" where each of us can take what we learned/experienced and start the fire. Because He has given His angels charge over us and we can fearlessly live out His calling, with intention, wherever He has placed us.

Nevermind, I want a reunion. Like now!!!! I miss you guys.

Just because we're awesome!!

Upcoming adventures!!

So there is about 20 dozen things I should be doing right now, before sitting down to update. But when the maintenance man wakes you up at 6 on a Saturday morning, well, I just decided to take advantage of the extra hour rather than try to keep on sleeping. So consider yourselves lucky that there is a water leak somewhere in the wall back in the guys dorm, and that Nata chose today to get it fixed. Because if I wouldn't have gotten woken up early this post probably wouldn't be happening. 

I was recently told that I started out good on my blog, nice frequent posts and all, but it seems to have kinda petered out.

Well, yes, sadly that is kinda what happens for me when life gets busy.  It's not like life here isn't interesting. Far from it! Put 8 people, who like to call themselves adults, but who all have a very childish tendency to be a little bit loco at times, in a house and make them live together 24/7. Then give them 12 kids to teach and be responsible for! Yes, we like to keep life interesting. 

And then God gives us special gifts. Paola is one of my students that I have been watching very closely this year. It was clear to me there was a major struggle going on inside her tender heart. I knew God was talking to her, but like someone else I know quite well, she was sure she could do this on her own. And she kept trying. And my heart kept hurting for her. But Tuesday, the minute she arrived at school she told me she wanted to talk to me. And she confessed that she had not been honest with me. And she told me that she wants to pray and ask Jesus to "clean her heart." (Sometimes sign language just says it so much better.) So we prayed together. And I cried. And she looked at me funny, because she was smiling. And I felt so humbled. What do I know about discipling a child? Because the first step that Paola took is important and we are always emotional when a child takes that step, but what happens afterward is the whole story. The Decision is only the step out the front door to begin a journey that will last a lifetime. Pray for Paola, she has no one in her life, besides us here at school, who will help her or who will even appreciate the decision she made. Pray for me. I need wisdom! 

So if you read my last post you saw a little bit of what's been keeping me busy. And the reason for the deadline!?! Forget if I mentioned that or not. . . That would only be a visit to the states to see my newest nephew! Oh, and the rest of my family too! :) and to get my cousin married to the guy she says has claimed her heart, and hopefully a chance to catch up with a few other dear peeps who I have been apart from for too long. And that is all super awesome and all. But even cooler ( if you are one of the persons who I will see, please don't get mad. You would say the same thing!) is I get to check another country off my checklist on the way home. 

A 16 hr layover is not normally not something to get excited about, but when the layover is in Panama City and you have never been to Panama, much less the capital city, then yes, it is a reason to get a little excited. Yup! How cool is that! Cheapest ticket includes a chance to visit a new country, it's like getting paid to travel! And yes, part of the excitement is because I get to do it all by myself. Taxi from the airport, find a hotel, (just kidding mom, I have one reserved!) I know, all old hat to some people, but I've never done it, so I'm just gonna go ahead and be excited about it!

So here's to another stamp in the passport, another ventire out of my comfort zone,  another chance to try new things, another adventure!

Starting in about 3 hours, maybe now I should get started on my to-do list for the morning.