Verdicts and second chances . . .

Well, it may be more like a third or fourth chance, maybe even fifth. But I'm not counting and I don't think anyone else is. Except maybe her mom who is worried about how many chances there will be and when we will say, "No more chances."

But thank God, that is not yet. 

Tuesday of last week there was a meeting, Nata & Becky, 3 board members and one scared little nun. I went into the meeting honestly not having the slightest clue what the verdict was going to be. We were or course, discussing the fate of Silvia. And whether she had crossed the last line or if we could give her another chance. 

Two hours later, after much discussion and many options and many lessons learned by the nun in how to make meetings last longer than necessary, the verdict was agreed upon by all. 

To say the truth, I was scared of either verdict. I was scared we would say, "no more chances." And I would feel, very muchly, that I had failed in one of the things that is closest to Jesus' heart, the precious souls of His children. But I was also scared that we would say, "sure come on back to school." Because me being the selfish nun that I am, really liked the easy class I had when we were minus Silvia. But suddenly in the meeting when it seemed to me that things were starting to lean precariously close to the side of expelling Silvia for good, I knew what I really wanted the verdict to be. Maybe because I don't want it to be said, that I (we) gave up. Or maybe because my pride couldn't handle the thought that there was a student that had gotten the best of me. I just knew that saying there was no more hope for Silvia and that she didn't deserve another chance, felt so totally wrong. Exactly the opposite of what Jesus was wanting us to do. But thankfully (during the 2hrs) the tide shifted and it was clear that giving Silvia another chance was what we all wanted to do. The decision was unanimous. Silvia will be coming back to finish out the last two months of school. 

I was relieved.

And I was scared.

And to be honest, still am a little bit. 

The optimistic side of me says, "Surely two months of being expelled should now mean she can have at least two good months at school."

But the realistic side of me laughs and says, "Honey, this is Silvia we're talking about here."

The thing with Silvia is, you never know. She is a loving child, at least I like to think that is her true nature, but one can never tell what it is that will set her off. Or what will make her raise her defenses and shut off her brain. What triggers are causing her drastic reactions? I would give a lot to break through all language barriers and just see inside her brain, unhindered, for a few minutes. 

But I haven't been given that gift. So I will work with what I have. Which I happen to know includes a lot of prayer support. 

I have no clue how Silvia will show up tomorrow morning. Relieved to be back at school and with her friends, willing to be a cooperative part of the team here. Or stressed from the changes in schedule that resulted from her expulsion and looking for a safe place to vent her frustration, which is usually in my classroom or maybe the playground or maybe the kitchen or the laundry room while doing her afternoon chores. Like I said, one can never tell! 

So I am pleading with you not to forget Silvia in your prayers. Pray that her time being expelled caused her to stop and think. Pray for a change of heart. She knows that she is not right with God and that she is the only one who can change that. And that she has to WANT to change, we can't do it for her. She just doesn't want to give up yet. 

And pray for me too. Wisdom, patience, true love, strength . . . The list could go on for awhile. 

And if I survive I will keep you updated, and maybe I will even be able to tell about my first visitors of the year. The first that were EXCLUSIVELY mine. And about the visitor I'm expecting and other cool stuff happening but as of right now, bed feels a little bit more important. 

Comin' off vacation . . .

So today was Monday and it was a really awesome Monday! 

After a week of lots of relaxing and catching up on a lot of those little projects that had been staring me in the face for way too long, I felt rejuvenated and ready to see the kids again. The morning hugs were executed with some extra "umph!"

I was kinda a bad teacher today. We really didn't do much work at all. We sat around and talked about what we did on vacation. And ate chocolate and laughed at the Dove sayings. How do you translate the idea of, "Pack your rose colored glasses." I just translated it literally and then we teased Beatriz about her pink sunglasses all day. 

We also mourned the loss of our dear class pet. Diego seems to have escaped/been kidnapped during vacation. The girls were quite traumatized while Eduardo openly rejoiced and asked if someone had stabbed him dead. (He never had a great love for the bird!)

RIP Diego, wherever you might be. Thank you for never pooping on me. 

It was great to sit around and catch up on their lives. And I nearly cried when it came Beatriz' turn to tell us about her vacation. (If that confuses you, check out my last post, "Once again a student) she was all smiles! And she said she had a great vacation! Her mom was rather upset when she arrived Friday afternoon, but ended up apologizing a day or so later was her normal self for the rest of the week. And her dad wasn't mad at all, although he did drink and got into a rather major fight. He didn't mistreat her.  How wrong is that? To have only one major fight be an "improvement" and something to be thankful for. But it really is, for her. And Sunday her dad even took her to the Mennonite church that is close to her house. (Close as in E.S. close, not Lancaster County close!) he was chopping some grass for the cows close by so when she asked to go along he didn't have any problem with it and took her on his bike. I sat on my desk as she recalled all this to our class! And I just wanted to do a happy dance! We settled for thanking God for so many answered prayers on behalf of this girl that He cares about more than I can ever imagine. 

And specifics about my vacation . . . 

It was honestly just a lot of relaxing! :) Blissful to say the least! I spent a few days at the guesthouse in San Salvador and caught up on some shopping at the mall there. I managed to fit in a massage and also found some cool new smoothie shops and also discovered that the roof of the guesthouse is a great viewing platform to see the firework displays the city likes to put on to celebrate August vacation. I was also blessed to be able to catch lunch with a very wise woman and dear friend, who very patiently let me unload to her! Wednesday afternoon I bussed home from the city, and Lidia informed me that they were planning to go to a Water park the next day and I was invited to tag along. ("They," being her two sisters that are here visiting.) that seemed a little more appealing than the cleaning that I had on my schedule and so we set off. I was expecting a few slides and some dirtyish pools. Since that's kinda been my "water park" experience here. I was quite surprised! A very upscale park with thermal pools, ginormous kids section, and a nice assortment of slides, and pools of different depths, even a zip line cable stretching over the pools. Sadly, jumping off the zip line into the pool was not allowed. But the ginormous yellow slide provided quite enough thrill for me. 

Not sure exactly how tall it was, but very much straight down! Good belly-flopping/heart-in-throat experience right there! 

Finishing off with some good ole cones! 

And the rest of the week was sewing and reading and sleeping in and some long over-due cleaning. 

Today while working at school it hit me for real that we are past the three month mark. 

And if these last three months go anywhere near as fast as the last 6 I'll be back in the states before I even know what happened. 

This week we're looking forward to Nata & Becky coming back from Mexico. Life just isn't quite normal when they aren't here. However we had an amazing time with Enrique & Laura here and Lidia & Patu will definitely miss their family, especially their nephew who has stolen all our hearts. I'm also looking forward to my first visitors of the year! Wow! I waited till August! My uncle & aunt, Dan & Naomi, who live about three miles from my house in WV, are coming on Thursday with their two youngest, the only ones who haven't made it down here to visit me yet. Makes me feel quite special and I look forward to showing them around. 

Till next time . . . 

Once again a student . . .

Have you ever been explaining something to someone, trying to teach them how to do something when suddenly they catch on and say, "Oh, you mean like this!" And turns out they knew how to do it all along, and they're actually better at it than you are. And all you can do is stand there and feel about two inches tall. 

That happened to me this week. (Or, I guess it's last week by now.) 

Beatriz' grandpa's funeral was on Thursday. Thankfully it was in the afternoon so we were able to attend. So the majority of us staff and a few of the students piled into the van and headed out to Tacachico. We didn't attend the Catholic Mass, although I would have been very interested in seeing the ceremonies. I was told the length of the service, in which the soul is supposedly blessed and ushered into heaven, depends on how much the family can afford to pay the priest. Can you imagine feeling as if your father/grandfather may not end up in heaven simply because you couldn't afford to pay the priest for a sufficient prayer! Although, I think the Cruz family should have nothing to worry about, based on that. We waited for a small eternity in the parking lot, or so it seemed. But I'm getting sidetracked. 

We met up with another couple, Abel & Myrna, who live close to Beatriz and were also attending the funeral. As we were waiting in a small parking lot close to the church, Myrna came over and with tears in her eyes began to tell us what had happened the night before, at the "vela." (An all-night vigil, something like a viewing) Beatriz had come to her asking if she could talk to her mom, because her parents were refusing to let her wear her veil & dress. Myrna was, of course, ready to defend and went to talk to her mom. However, her mom refused to be persuaded. There was family from the states and they would not have their daughter shaming them by dressing like a "grandma." This was not just said to Myrna. Beatriz was heartbroken, and when we joined the funeral procession to the gravesite, she began to cry in earnest, ashamed that we had to see her in a skirt and blouse. Mary was quick to take her aside and reassure her that God saw her heart and that He knew that she wanted to do what was right and that she hadn't lost her Chrisitanity just because she didn't have her head covered. And then Beatriz explained the things that even Myrna hadn't known. That her father had literally ripped her veil off her head, and pulled her by the hair, telling her to change, and when she said that she was not ashamed, he hit her with his belt. And then took her dress and threw it in the trash. And I wanted to close my eyes and not see what she was saying and at the same time wanted to take her and run far far away. Because that was her father sober. 

And we were able to, for a little bit. We talked with her mom, asking permission for Beatriz to come back with us, seeing as how Friday was the spelling competition that she had studied three months for.  Her mother, rather reluctantly, gave permission. And so Beatriz wanted to say good-bye to some of her aunts and uncles who would be leaving for the states the next day. I walked with her, waiting while saw said her good-byes. And then I saw her father, viciously gesturing to her, and I knew it was not good. He walked out of the crush of people surrounding the gravesite, his ginormous hand nearly bruising Beatriz's arm in his vicious grip. It was clear he was not on board with the idea of her leaving. We were able to explain that it was because of the competition that she had worked hard for and that she would be home the next afternoon, just like every Friday. And he let go of Beatriz' arm and I, holding her other hand, wanted to run out of that cemetery as fast as I possibly could. 

And Beatriz sat in the back seat of the van and said, "Oh, it's good to be with the deaf again, it's much calmer." And then we had our competition the next day. And then Beatriz went home, most likely to a dad who is raging drunk. And a family who at best, tolerates her beliefs, when not mocking them. And she says, "It doesn't matter what they say, I am going to be faithful." And she comes to school every Monday morning with a ginormous smile on her face. 

And yes, now I feel about two inches tall. It's like I've been playing "Christian" my whole life. What do I know about respecting a father who beats me for wearing a modest dress? A father who pitches my Bible? What do I know about encouraging a girl who lives that life? 

Once again, I am the student and not the teacher. 

Please join me in extra prayer for Beatriz this week. A week of vacation for me means a week at home for her. With a father who is most likely trying to drink away his grief. Pray for protection and strength and a heart that continues to be soft.